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重磅关于人际关系的SAT作文范文

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重磅关于人际关系的SAT作文范文

放大字体  缩小字体 发布日期:2022-06-18 22:47:48  浏览次数:33
核心提示:  SAT写作时间为25分钟,要求就作文命题中的一对对立论点阐述自己的观点,无字数限制。深圳启德教育为大家整理了一篇SAT写作范文,这篇获得高分的SAT写作考试范文的主要是关于人际关系的,大家可以在备考自己的SAT写作考试的时候根据自己的实
  SAT写作时间为25分钟,要求就作文命题中的一对对立论点阐述自己的观点,无字数限制。深圳启德教育为大家整理了一篇SAT写作范文,这篇获得高分的SAT写作考试范文的主要是关于人际关系的,大家可以在备考自己的SAT写作考试的时候根据自己的实际情况,进行适当的准备和借鉴,以下就是关于人际关系的SAT作文范文。   What are your opinions about the idea that people make barriers to hide from the outside world?
  你对人们设置屏障以躲避外部世界的想法持什么样的观点?
  The concept of karma is that lies and misdeeds eventually come back to hurt oneself in the end. I believe that constructed barriers designed to mask a person from the world will ultimately fail and reverberate with negative consequences on the original actor. This is shown in the novels Fight Club and A Farewell to Arms.
  In Fight Club, acts of violence and terrorism enacted by underground, covert organizations calling themselves “fight clubs” escalate in intensity and danger, until a man is finally killed. The unnamed main character/narrator was a friend of the dead man, who claimed to be on a “mission” assigned by their anti-corporation leader, Tyler Durden. In a shocking twist of events, the narrator discovers that the anarcho-primitivist Tyler is actually his own subconscious alter-ego, who emerges as soon as the narrator falls asleep. This dangerous psychotic arose from the main character's repression of his love for a woman, thus constructing a barrier between his desires and the world. The barrier spawned a madman, intent on destroying civilization as we know it and returning humanity to a hunter-gatherer society. In such a case, the formation of a barrier separating the self from the world was a dangerous and enormously deleterious action. In Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms, the English lady Catherine Barkley seems to fall in love with Frederick Henry, but a closer reading of the novel reveals her desire is merely masking her neediness and insecurity after losing her first lover to war. Catherine is described as “a little crazy” when Henry meets her; she does not have one to love; she is bereaved and near mad. She constructs affection for Fred as a barrier to block out her insecurities.
  The dangerous impacts of this construction is shown at the end of the novel: as she lies on the bed, she mutters that her love for Frederick has broken her. She dies without letting her true unconscious surface, and has psychological clashes due to her lover.
  In both Fight Club and A Farewell to Arms, barriers constructed by certain characters, to hide from the world certain parts of themselves, fall back against them in harmful ways. Without a true, candid resolution to one's problems, an honest appraisal through “coming clean, ” the maxim that “what goes around, comes around” fits nicely: the self-constructed barrier may collapse in on its creator.   深圳启德教育也为大家准备了关于人际关系的SAT作文范文的翻译,帮助大家更好的理解吸收,希望大家取长补短,更轻松的攻克SAT写作。
  因果报应的观点认为撒谎和为恶会回过头来终伤害到自己。我相信设置屏障以躲避外部世界终会失败,并必然给始作俑者带来负面后果。小说《战斗俱乐部》和《永别了,武器》中便有这样的例子。
  在《战斗俱乐部》中,自称“战斗俱乐部”的地下组织制定了一系列暴力和恐怖游戏,其暴力程度和危险性逐渐升级,直到有人终被杀死。不知名的主角,即故事的叙述者,是那位死者的朋友,据称他担负着反政府组织头目泰勒·德登所指派的“使命”。后来,故事发生了一次惊人的转折,故事的叙述者发现,这个无政府的原始主义者泰勒其实是他自己潜意识的化身,每当他睡觉的时候泰勒便出现。这个危险的精神疾患源自他对一位女性的爱的压制,因此他在自己的欲望与外部世界之间筑起了一道屏障。这道屏障孕育出了一个疯子,他打算毁灭我们现有的文明,将人类带回到原始社会。在这个例子里,建造一道将自己与世界隔离开来的屏障是一种非常危险的行为。
  在海明威的小说《永别了,武器》里,英国女子凯瑟琳·巴克利似乎与弗雷德里克·亨利坠入爱河,然而细读后却发现,小说透露出她想要的只不过是掩饰她的需求和在战争中失去第一个爱人后的不安全感。当亨利遇见凯瑟琳时,书中描述她“有一些神经质”;她还未找到可以寄托爱情的人;失去爱人几乎让她发疯。她对弗雷德里克产生感情就好比设置一道屏障以阻挡她的不安全感。
  这样做的危险在小说的结尾显现出来:当她躺在床上的时候,她喃喃自语,称她对弗雷德里克的爱毁了自己。她直到死都没有暴露自己真实存在的潜意识,却因爱人产生了心理上的抵触。
  在《战斗俱乐部》和《永别了,武器》两部小说中,人们构筑屏障来掩盖自己的某些方面,结果却深受其害。对一个人遇到的麻烦,如果不用一种现实的、坦率的方法来解决,即通过“全盘招供”的方式作出诚实的评估的话,那么就只会自食其果:自己建造的屏障后会倒塌下来砸伤它的建造者。   以上就是关于人际关系的SAT作文范文,深圳启德教育邀您一起来看看关于本篇文章考官的评价吧。   [Grade: 6/6]Instruction's Comments:

  Instruction's Comments:once again you've turned in an essay that surely rises above most of the others that a typical standardized test essay grader is likely to see. I give this one a 5/6 because, while it is probable that a grader would give it a 6, it is not as strong as some of the other essays you've turned in; hence the “5. ” I think it's worth mentioning again what I mean by “strong, ” or what I mean when I say that you've written a good essay. There's only one goal when sitting for the standardized test essay, and that is to get the highest score possible. You've demonstrated that you are capable of writing what would be considered a “6” essay. Your goal should be to write the kind of essay that leaves no doubt in the grader's mind that it deserves anything less.
  A lopsided essay, or one in which one example is clearly better than another, could leave a grader with doubt. In the above essay, your Fight Club example is great. Your diction is sophisticated, you give great details, and you very neatly tie the example back to your thesis (which, in turn, is very much on topic) . (One thing: it would have been nice if you'd mentioned the author's name-although my guess is that you weren't sure on the spelling of “Palahniuk, ” -which I admit I had to double check myself-but better to misspell the name than not give it at all. ) .
  But your second example, while strong, is not as well developed as the first (I think you'd agree) . This fact alone, no matter how good the rest of the essay, will make the grader think twice about giving you a 6. Now it may be that your essay on the whole is so good that, despite the presence of a clearly weaker example, it still deserves a 6 (which I believe is true of this paper) , but some other graders may not think so.
  I guess my whole point is that you should always think of your essay from the grader's point of view. He or she has a list of criteria to follow, and you don't want to give any excuse to the grader to give you anything less than the highest score possible. There are a few tense errors and one rough patch where you break from parallel structure, but so long as the grammatical errors are minor it should not make the least bit of difference when it comes to your grade, and so I do not dwell on them here.
  Overall you've done a commendable job and you should be proud of this essay.   得分:5/6,辅导老师评语:
  你又交上了一篇出色的作文练习,一般标准化考试作文阅卷老师喜欢看到这类文章。也许阅卷者会给满分,但我只给了5分,因为它没有你交上来的其他一些作文有力。   我认为值得再一次解释什么是我所说的“有力”,或者我为什么说你的文章写得好。当你坐下来构思标准化考试的作文时,你只有一个目标,那就是尽可能地获得高分。你已经证明你能写出满分的作文,因此你的目标应该是写那种不会给阅卷者留下任何疑问从而导致扣分的文章。
  这是一篇有失平衡的作文,即文中一个论据明显好于另一个论据,这一点会给阅卷者留下疑问。在文中,你的《战斗俱乐部》的论据非常棒。你的措辞老到,有很好的细节描写,非常巧妙地将论据与论题连在一起(它反过来也与主题紧紧相扣。有一点,如果你还能顺便提一下作者的名字就更好了。我猜想你当时没有把握拼出作者的名字“Palahniuk”。我承认就连我自己也需要再核实一下。不过就算拼错了也比一点不提要强)。
  你的第二个论据虽然也比较有力,但不如第一个展开得那么好(我想你会同意我的观点)。
  单就这一点便会让阅卷者犹豫,不知是否给你满分,虽然文章的其余部分写得很棒。现在可能的情况是,尽管出现了一个明显弱一些的论据,但是因为整篇文章不错,你仍有可能获得满分(我认为对这篇文章来说确实如此),不过有些阅卷者不一定会这么认为。
  我想我要说的是:你应当始终从阅卷老的角度来思考你的文章。阅卷者遵循一套阅卷的标准,你不该给他们任何扣分的理由。
  文中有几个时态上的错误和一处破坏文章平行结构后进行的粗糙补救。但是,因为语法错误并不重要,它对你的成绩几乎没有什么影响,所以我不在这里赘述。
  总之,你做得不错,值得骄傲。   以上就是关于人际关系的SAT作文范文的翻译,深圳启德教育小编提醒您SAT写作考试的时间短,但是要求却很严,大家在备考SAT写作考试的时候,大家可以根据自己的实际情况,对范文的语言应用和例子的选择进行不同程度的准备,以便丰富自己的备考内容,对考试有更加全面的应对。
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